shadowedskeletons

Updates

april.25.2011
♥ update: launched ShadowedSkeletons

imported all posts from lightfortunes.

welcome.

hi there! you are now viewing skeletalshadows.blogspot.com !
please tag before you leave. :)

Time changes everything, even you and I have changed.

I've been found out.

Sunday, 24 April 2011 @ 20:17 | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.

Shit.
I'll be deleting this blog, but I will relink those after I have made a new blog.
Sorry.
K thx bye.

Rewind.

@ 01:18 | 1 comment(s) | add a comment.

An uneventful few days have gone...and I've cleaned cleaned CLEANED!!!
My room still smells of the apples I was "eating" at school for lunch, but now, I can't even stomach anything at school.
Sorry about the ranting post last time, it annoys me to no end about how my classmates can be so insensitive like that, but soon after ... this girl just posted a post on facebook that just read: "bitch please, get over it."
I don't know if it was referring to me or not, but hell i was paranoid until she posted something else over that. I think i'm still paranoid, so i've been MIA ... but I can't let her get to me. so I'm just going to ignore it.
BITCH.

i have a pic of me at the Gold Coast - about 44-45kg / 97-99lbs - beware of my hip fat:

Replies to Comments:

Fantasy Girl - Thanks babe <3 I love reading your blog, even though i JUST followed you!
Charlotte - Exactly what I mean. Its just they DON'T understand, and yet I thought my classmates were smarter so that they won't say insensitive things.
Dani -

1. Thanks for understanding my point of view. Yes I don't have an full blown OCD, but lately its been cropping up more and more. It is definitely NOT something to be joking about, and I'm glad you know that too :)

2. Exercising and reading are so fun and good for you too! However, I wish my parents would let me do MORE exercise. I'm sick of staying in the house all day, because every time I go out, they always force feed me more food at the next meal, even though I had said I'd eaten out.

3. Yeah Blogger has been stuffing up on me lately...at most I get one or two posts from the people who I follow per day, and the next morning, I have to catch up on at least 20 blogs who appear on the dashboard, as well as checking I don't fall behind on the other people's blogs who hasn't appeared on the dashboard.

4. I hate being bored, because it means I over-analyse situations and then always end up with the worst conclusion.

Nikkii - Thanks <3, though your comments keep coming up as spam...because you seem to only follow my blogs only (both HallowedBones and LightFortunes)

So my intake everyday has been around 900-1000 (yes its a lot, but i guess this is called "recovery") and I'm trying to get in at least 30 mins of pilates/crunches/some form of exercise per day. A few days per week, I slip out of the house and go "shopping" when in fact i just wander around the shopping center looking at all the pretty things I could wear IF i was thin. That takes up my time for about 6-8 hours ...
Theres only 4 days til school starts again. and I'm not liking it one bit.

Stay strong, girls <3

8 things you're known for.

@ 00:49 | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.

Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Being anorexic.
Being worthless.
Being a copycat.
Nothing.
Nothing.

Labels: 15 day challenge

My classmates are insensitive bitches. *Rant*

Thursday, 21 April 2011 @ 01:02 | 2 comment(s) | add a comment.

My classmates are insensitive bitches.They write on their facebook pages, that just because they have period pain and they hate it, then they WANT to be anorexic; or they go on to say that they have depression just because their parents yelled at them. Seriously, NO ONE CARES. And think about those who DO have anorexia and depression and don’t make fun of it. It ain’t funny.

This is ONE of the MANY classic examples:

I dont care if i post this with her name on it. It's fucking insulting to those who really do have OCD. And whilst I'm not saying that I personally have OCD, i DO understand what its like to have a mental illness. People like her should be more considerate of what they say. GRR i want to rip her head off. She's the one who wrote all those pissy posts about me, shes the one who fucking hates me, and i hate her too. She's the one who thinks I suffer for "attention". She's the one who thinks I'm fake.

9 things that make you happy.

Tuesday, 19 April 2011 @ 00:29 | 2 comment(s) | add a comment.

Now? I really don't know. I'll just list the ones that i know used to make me happy.

Hunger used to make me happy. I crave it now. "Recovery" is so freaking hard.
My "friends" used to be there for me. Now i have no friends. Oh, except Blogger girls and Tumblr girls <3 You girls are my lifesavers! ♥
Reading: blogs, books, menus, labels ... anything involving reading, A few times, I even lugged my science textbook home to read as a "bedtime story". It was strangely fascinating. I have been busted countless times for reading too much, especially when I'm supposed to be sleeping. But i can't sleep.
Music ♥ I cannot LIVE without my ipod; as well as playing on the piano, flute, guitar... <3
When i see people comment on my blog <3 I feel so loved.
Exercise rush! HAHAHA i feel on top of the world!
When someone tells me they miss me
Random goodnight text messages
Glee! LOLs - the name of that TV show just IMPLIES "fun".

Labels: 15 day challenge

Why is blogger stuffing up on me?

Monday, 18 April 2011 @ 03:23 | 1 comment(s) | add a comment.

I think theres something wrong with my dashboard - its not updating all your lovely posts. There's like no posts going up,and i have to click on each separate blog to see if you update or not. It's been going on for a while, do you girls have this issue too? Coz its really pissing me off today, i don't know why that it annoys me more than before, but I'm not in the best mood today.

Replies to Comments:

Charlotte - 1. Thank you for understanding the way i feel.
2. Hahaha - i love twins! <3
Dani - 1. Thank you for your nice comments <3, but i find it so hard to believe even the most honest person that I'm worth it, becasue i truly believe I"m not worth anything.
2. Honestly, you look amazingly thin at your weight right now. I totally understand what you feel about wanting to lose more weight; being underweight all my life, and now with people knowing that, they want me to get up to a "healthy" weight...it just not possible, so my mind turns it around and wants to lose MORE weight.
Paperdoll Perfection - I cut too, but ever since my psychologist and parents and everyone found out, its harder to keep it under wraps ... and they want me to see more people about my depression -which i get so anxious about, and its not really helping anything. You would really miss me if i disappeared? Like if i died? O.o That makes me feel loved <3

10 things you do when you're bored.

@ 02:54 | 1 comment(s) | add a comment.

Read.
Stress out.
Clean.
Homework.
Blogger/tumblr
Cry in my room.
Pace around / exercise.
Cut.
Consume myself with self-hate.
Find something mindless to do.

Labels: 15 day challenge

"Smiles are like bandaids. They cover up the pain, but it still hurts."

Sunday, 17 April 2011 @ 01:04 | 2 comment(s) | add a comment.

I'm scared. Like really scared. I don't know what's happened to me, lately. I know I'm just falling apart.
So, my night was really freaked out. I didn't get any sleep, so I'm in a zombie-like state today. Well, it was 3:20am, and after going for a bathroom break, I just broke down crying. It just spontaneously happened. Now, that's not so worrying, as I cry WAY too much right now (though no one but myself knows), and I was crying over what a failure of a life i heve, and i was thinking that the world would be a MUCH better place without me being a burden on everyone. I was just thinking negatvie things in general (i wont mention them here, it'd take forever...) But the one thing that stuck to me was the realization that all i do is talk myself up, and really, i never achieve anything. I don't deserve a good life. I don't deserve to have a life.

Mind you, this was at 3:30AM, god freaking tired, crying. And just depressed as hell.

THEN i got really paranoid. I felt that I couldn't go anywhere without getting judged, even in my own home. I thought about running away, and physically, I wanted to runaway. I couldn't stand being at home. But i got scared that wherever I go, people are going to judge me, and that they're all going to see what a let-down I am.
I got really really really scared of what people judge me by. I didn't even know if i was able to leave my room today. I began thinking that my family were either: serial killers (my dad), or stalkers (my mum and auntie). Every abuse that my family has hurled on me in the past came rushing back, and I just sat there, rocking back and forth, scared to death of what the day would bring.

My mum went to China today, for a few days, so at least I think im safe from her stalking, but i still look behind my every step to make sure she's not watching.

GAH all these voices in my head are driving me crazy. I just don't know what to do.

11 signs you're not into someone.

Saturday, 16 April 2011 @ 19:25 | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.

I won’t really look comfortable around you.
I'd talk about how I have a certain type when it comes to guys and make sure I'd list all the qualities that you doesn’t have. LOL
I'd be a bitch if you try to pull some move on me.
I'd act bored around you to make it seem I would rather be anywhere but here.
I'd make any excuse to get the hell out of there.
I'd never make time for you if you want to go on a date.
I would avoiding absolute physical contact.
I wouldn't want to get to know you.
I guess I'm just too nice a girl to say it straight up, but I will hint that "I'm not interested" many times til you get the message.
I change the subject CONSTANTLY around you.
I'd space out.

Labels: 15 day challenge

Friday, 15 April 2011 @ 23:05 | 1 comment(s) | add a comment.

So...at my lowest weight of 75lbs, i was 32% underweight?
Now i'm less than 15%. Gah. This just wants me to lose more and more weight.

12 signs you're into someone.

@ 04:51 | 1 comment(s) | add a comment.

I turn red from blushing so much.
When you invite me to take a photo, I'll get awkward and stiff standing next to you.
I’ll be awkwardly quiet around you.
I’ll go out of my way to see you.
I get nervous.
I’ll play with my hair.
I giggle.
I would buy ridiculously expensive gifts for you as a "thank-you".
I look up everything you're into, so we have more interests. Even though you like Black Ops, and I am clueless about that.
I'd tell you, in the most subtle way that it doesnt seem like I'm telling you anything.
Compliments! I'd over-compliment you.
I’ll smile a lot when I’m around you. Even if m mood is the worst, you somehow make me smile.

Labels: 15 day challenge

Graphics Site Open!!!

Wednesday, 13 April 2011 @ 03:17 | 2 comment(s) | add a comment.

» hallowed ☠ bones Grand Opening today

Shoosh I know I'm lame but please visit and support. :D

Edit: Ah crap sorry i forgot to change the "permissions" to allow anyone to view the blog. I'm such a doofus. It is now open to all.
I even spelt the name of this post wrong, originally. My brain is half-dead. I'm sorry.
Forgive me for my lapse of consideration
I love you all. <3.

Labels: Hallowed Bones

13 ways you break the ice.

@ 03:16 | 2 comment(s) | add a comment.

Simple approach, I just introduce myself with a smile.
Talk about the weather?
If they’re wearing something cute or whatever, I’ll let em know.
...
...
...Gah i can't do this. I'm not a very social person...I can't even call people without freaking out. As a result, I have yet to get a job, find work experience, and organise outings. Among the other billion things I have to do. I even feel awkward on Blogger.

I just don't know how to say anything.

Labels: 15 day challenge

"Be careful what you wish for. There's always a catch."

Tuesday, 12 April 2011 @ 04:12 | 2 comment(s) | add a comment.

"I failed eating, failed drinking, failed not cutting myself into shreds. Failed friendship. Failed sisterhood and daughterhood. Failed mirrors and scales and phone calls. Good thing I'm stable. "

I have good news and bad news.
Good news: 43.7kg / 96lbs!!!
YES! i did it! I lost 1kg / 2.5lbs in a week! Now THAT'S the progress I'd like to see1 If only I can replicate that ALL the time...I know I've done it once, I can do it again.
Bad news: I have to see the doctors again next week, meaning I'm beginning my "relapse" and they've caught on. Or maybe not. I'm just being my usual paranoid self.

Replies to Comments:

Dani wow - so many comments from you! I love it! Thanks so much for the support <3
I'll get right on making those kristen stewart icons! You can be my first post!
Sarah Keep thinking those ideas! I'm sure you'll find something!
I'll keep everyone posted on when I'll be launching the graphics website!

Hope you girls are having a lovely day :)

REQUESTS FOR ICONS/GRAPHICS!!!

Sunday, 10 April 2011 @ 19:42 | 2 comment(s) | add a comment.

So, girls, as I'm making a graphics thinspo website,
Okay well I'll have a lot of free time during the holidays so I'm thinking of taking requests. :)

First I want to make a set of 100 x 100 icons so do you girls want anything in particular? Like themed icons, or a particular celebrity or something?

Please ! Flood me me ideas ! Leave requests by commenting or leaving a tag on the tagboard. And I apologise if I only do a few requested things or please be patient since I can't do them all at once. Other than that, REQUEST REQUEST REQUEST ! :D

xx

I think im too asdfghjkl; to write anything right now.

@ 00:41 | 1 comment(s) | add a comment.

I'm sorry. I really wanted to tell you about my Gold Coast trip, but now I just feel so ... out of it, and theres nothing really exciting to report about the GC anyways.

To cut it short, at the GC, this is what i did:

Day One: crashed as soon as I got to the apartment. when I woke, I went to the pool for 30 mins. Gah I hated how i looked in my swimsuit, but I wanted to burn some cals.

oatmeal + sushi + rice+ chicken = breakfast + lunch + dinner

Day Two: Went to Dreamworld. The rides are crazyy awesome. Ate too much. My parents think I ate not enough.

oatmeal + garden salad sandwich + rice + tiny piece of beef steak = breakfast + lunch + dinner

Day Three: WHITE WATER WORLD!!! Did absolutely EVERYTHING!!! Waited in line for ages + was freezing cold half the time too.

oatmeal + garden salad sandwich + rice + tiny piece of beef steak = breakfast + lunch + dinner

Day Four: Shopping for 6 hours. I bought nothing. Felt fat in everything.

oatmeal + subway with no sauce and no cheese + rice + turkey slice = breakfast + lunch + dinner

Day Five: Shopping. I bought a ROXY bag, a pair of jeans and a dress, all totalling $50 altogether! BARGAINS!!! ♥ I hate wearing the jeans though. I look hideous in them. They're a size 6, though, which is the smallest, but i want them to be loose on me.

oatmeal + sushi + rice + tiny piece of beef steak = breakfast + lunch + dinner

Day Six: ... I don't even know what i did that day. I think I just stayed a depressed heap and ate.

oatmeal + noodles + egg + rice + fish fillet (steamed) = breakfast + lunch + dinner

Day Seven: ... I don't even know what i did that day. I think I just stayed a depressed heap and ate.

oatmeal + noodles + egg + rice + fish fillet (steamed) = breakfast + lunch + dinner

Day Eight: Today was the best day in intake, by far. I packed, walked a heap, and was exhausted by the time I got home.

oatmeal + corn thin + rice + sashimi = breakfast + dinner

I dont know. I was just depressed all the time. I cried everyday of the "holiday", and everyday I still cry over ... something. I was just fat and sad. I wanted to cut, but i had nothing to do it with. I did finish 100 laxatives,and 30 carb / starch blockers whilst i was there...i just wanted the fat to get off me. I don't even want to know my weight anymore.

I just don't know.

14 not so simple facts about yourself.

Saturday, 9 April 2011 @ 22:36 | 1 comment(s) | add a comment.

I've never been above 100lbs. Don't want to be. Ever. Not going to be. If i do, I'll shoot myself.
I have no idea what to do when I finish high school.
I work in web design. Well, i have a part-time job in web design.
I HAD (until 3 hours ago) a fish tank with no fish. Now i have a fish tank with 30 fish.
I love extra-curricular activities.
I did ballet for 2 years when i was younger. Now i want to go back to it.
I have a ritual of sleeping at exactly at 37minutes past an hour..so its 12:37, 1:37, 2:37..
My skin is quite strange. Somedays its super oily and i break out (yucky) and somedays its dry as hell, and flakes...and everyday i use the same face products.
I can never explain whats on my mind.
I cry myself to sleep nearly every night.
None of my friends really know the ‘real me’.
I take grammar and spelling seriously when I’m sending texts.
I love helping people, but sometimes when I should be helping myself.
I harbour a lot of self-hate that no one really knows about.

Labels: 15 day challenge

THANK YOU PAPERDOLL PERFECTION!!! ♥

@ 22:16 | 1 comment(s) | add a comment.

The Rules:1. Thank the person who loved you enough to bestow this gift.2. Share seven things about yourself.3. Bestow this honor onto 10 newly discovered or followed bloggers who are fantastic in some way.4. Drop by and let your ten new friends know you admire them.

THANK YOU PAPERDOLL PERFECTION!!! I feel so loved ♥
Wow, i've already done a "15 things about me"...so um...

I adore butterflies
I definitely don't drink enough water. I never have been a big drinker.
When I first made this blog, i chose the name "lightfortunes" because at that time, I was "fortunate to be light". Now? Not so much.
I love green tea <3. Even so, I've burnt my tongue quite a few times when drinking it.
To clarify, I'm in "recovery"...so my eating is "normal". I'll keep this up until my parents trust me more...which is like, never. However, I'm working with my psych to tell my parents to let me do things more independently, leading up to my parents trusting me.*sneaky look*
I have a younger sister, who is 2½ years younger. She is the polar opposite of me. She loves her junk food, she rather sit all day than go out, and she hates all fruits and vegetables.
I have small feet. I'm a size 3½ in Australia, size 2½ in UK, size 34-35 in Europe, and size 4 in US/Canada.

Hm...I hate making decisions like this (since you are all awesome, and have already gotten this award already!):

Aria

Right, I'm off to do that. And then the next post!

Back in sydney :D

@ 02:19 | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.

Will update uber long tomorrow, then i'm taking a short hiatus to begin designing my graphics site, since it was unanimously voted yes that i should go for it. (by four people...haha i'm so popular. NOT).
Stay strong, lovelies.
xx

Quickie from the GC

Friday, 8 April 2011 @ 00:17 | 1 comment(s) | add a comment.

hey girls, i've been on holiday, at the GoldCoast andthishasgoto be a quickie - soignore my mistakes,and spacebar issues.
Ive done badly, but i'll update soon!
xx

Should I create a thinspired graphics blog?

Friday, 1 April 2011 @ 15:41 | 1 comment(s) | add a comment.

Should I create a thinspired graphics blog?

Labels: poll

15 basic facts about yourself.

@ 02:45 | 2 comment(s) | add a comment.

I love the colour red, which has led me to seek out all-red earphones...the trickest feat yet. Mine sort of look like, but obviously more awesomely red :D
I was, am and forever will be a health food nut. I love healthy food, and junk food does not appeal to me at all, ED or not.
I love GLEE, and GOSSIP GIRL.
I adore headbands. I have one for everyday of the week, and then some.
I'm shy, but I can be very self-centered.
I'm indecisive.
I go to a selective all-girls school, where its supposed to be full of smart nerds. Instead, theres bitch fights, and sluts.
I take commerce and french as my electives. Comment ça va?
I love classical pieces of clothing. Oh, and nautical style.
I play piano, guitar, and flute. I love my music.
I have neutral views about Justin Bieber.
I was Disney-deprived when I was little. I have not seen many of the Disney classics. I think the only few which I've seen is Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty.
I was born at 26 weeks.I spent most of my first few months in hospital. I spent most of my first day in a totally different hospital from where i was born.
I bite my nails. Sometimes I even chew on my toenails. (i know that's gross, but its a nervous/anxious habit)
I hate thinking about myself for too long...these 15 things have taken me a hour to complete, and I feel so conceited.

Labels: 15 day challenge