so what does your ED mean to you? For me, its about the control, where i can control the shape of how my body's changing - and therefore control the intake and outtake. However, my parents and the doctors believe it's about the weight. How its too big for me. Well, tbh, i don't give a damn about my weight. There are many times when i wished (and still wish) that it wasn't so low, because it meant a higher chance of hospitalisation. I just want to be skinny, and thin, never mind what weight. I want to be like my friends who are so freakishly thin - model thin, some of them - and yet at a healthy low weight. I want that so bad.