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Monday, 6 December 2010 @ 05:17 | 5 comment(s) | add a comment.
thank you Mich, and Peanut for the wonderful comments and tips. I'll be sure to keep that in mind! Comments just make my day, even if only one person comments on every tiny post i make, it brings a huge smile on my face for the next 30mins / hour / 3 hours, and my family just look at me weirdly coz im just smiling at the computer, like an idiot. Today, at 11:30pm i weighed in at 89.8lbs. Damn made such a gain. So according to my progress chart in my Ana book, since discharge weight of 94lbs, on October 22nd, and since then, as well as trying to put on a 'recovery', ive went down to 87lbs in ...6weeks. So thats like 1lbs per week. Wow. Since i maintained on 2 of those 6 weeks, thats pretty good. I'm pretty happy at the rate this is going, and it doesn't that my doctors are too alarmed because in kilogram terms, a loss of 3.2kg (wait, did i even calculate that right? Its more than i thought ... Oh well, all the better for me) in 6 weeks, isnt too worrying, because on their scales, ive only lost a total of 1.5kg. It was only worrying for them when i was 39kg(85lbs) and i lost 4kg (8.8lbs) in 5 weeks. I was restricting much more than now, though it was a regular 3 meal day (even sometimes with a snack), but those meals are tiny compared to now (i had like an apple, half a slice of bread, and two spoonfuls of rice, and 1/2 cup of vegetables PER DAY). *sigh* At the moment, I'm lost. I don't want to gain all the weight back, but i don't know if losing more weight would mean readmission, because for me, the doctors are pushing the readmission weight and the 'healthy' goal weight higher and higher. Last time i got admitted, my weight was 40.5kg (89lbs), and my last weigh-in at the doctors read 41kg (90lbs) so yeah ... Im scared of what might happen. Its just that for me, losing weight isnt that hard, but losing the fat that comes with the weight is much harder. And because of these admissions in the hospital, all the weight that ive put on is basically fat, and water, and it jiggles. Its not lean muscle either. I'd much rather it be muscle weight than fat weight, and i can just see it, and feel that its fat weight. But theres good news to being 89lbs again. When i lean back, i can totally see all my ribs again! I never really noticed, but if i breathe in, i can run my fingers across them, and feel them. Oh it is bliss. Its just because i'm short that makes 89lbs seem a huge number. I'm only 5'2", so that would make my BMI 15.8 :) im so glad im out of the 16's. They tortured me so much. Stupid height. If i were 4 inches taller, that would be perfect. I want to be 5'6" at least, by the time i'm 18. I know its a longshot, considering my restriction, but i really want to get there. Yet at the same time, keeping my BMI of 15.8, and my weight at around 90lbs. My dreams ... will forever be my dreams. |
