welcome.
hi there! you are now viewing skeletalshadows.blogspot.com !please tag before you leave. :)
Time changes everything, even you and I have changed.
|
please tag before you leave. :) |
i promised myself that i would post today.
Tuesday, 29 March 2011 @ 05:02 | 1 comment(s) | add a comment.
and so here i am....today was blah. i had a doctor's appointment - ultrasound came back clear (thank you to all who asked about it) - though i really wanted something to be wrong with me so that i didn't have to eat; Gah my stomach is still aching a bit, but maybe that's coz the laxies i took a few hours ago. i took...the rest of the palette. on the palette, there were 25, i think i already had like 16 of them, but that means i took EIGHT. in one go. ah wells. i dont really care how much i fuck up my own body anymore.. all i want now is to be thin. My weight has been maintained (44.7kg/98lbs - with water weight and stuff) this week. even with me starting to eat rice at night again. It's a "recovery" thing which i have to pass, so that people can get off my back...i hate it, but its better than eating more calories in protein, and then gaining. So i guess, its good, in that way. im not going to be able to see my psych for another two weeks, because next week, I AM OFF TO THE GOLD COAST!!!! i've been there before, but im going to have much more fun this time! I'm going to see all the theme parks and oh, im so excited! THe last time i went there, i lost over 1.5kg, in three days :D i hope i do lose some weight this time around too, because this time, i REALLY NEED TO. i'm at my highest weight, or near enough anyways. and its really hard for me to focus on anything but my weight and how i need to shift it, especially at night, when im awake, and thinking about the day, i always end up thinking about how i still need to lose weight. my ideal weight for me is 41kg/91lbs, but i'll settle with 42kg/93lbs. I did cross country again this afternoon - in 6 mins!!! it was an extra lap of the oval from last week, so about an extra 0.5km :) the teacher was pretty happy with my time, WHICH IS A FIRST - so that means i'm happy too. Or as happy as "fake happy" i can be lately. All that i ever am, is a fake. Fake smile. Fake happy. Fake friends. Fake,and, Fat, |
