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Conflicted.
Friday, 17 December 2010 @ 15:18 | 2 comment(s) | add a comment.
Sorry girls. I have been stuck, and still is stuck in inpatient treatment. My dad said something that really changed my perspective. He said that if i ever reach 45kg/100lbs again, i am welcome to loose it all again, no questions asked. He says that my body cant get up to that, that my body isnt built to get up to that weight. He says that its proved because in my second admission, i was supposed to put on 10kg (one kilo per week/2.5lbs per week), i only put on 6kg, in the whole 10week admission. My body just wont allow anymore. I was on the highest meal plan with extra 400cal drinks so thats like 4400cals per day,and no exercise, yet my body just wouldnt put on the weight! So yeah, my dad just said, if you ever reach 45kg, you can loose it again if you want. Im 42kg now, so what should i do? Should i get to 45kg(i really dont want to), and be pronounced 'recovered' by the docs, and my parents, or should i get discharged then loose it all anyways, because my eating behaviours over the past week have been overly normal? Im not even putting up a fight about my meal plan, which constitutes 4000cals with no exercise. What the hell is wrong with me!??! |
